If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬