I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"