Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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