Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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