it's too hot outside to masturbate.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
