Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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