brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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