i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
birth control should be required to get into college
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Damn victory sex feels great
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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