did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize