i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
