so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
