Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just sucked dick on a ferry
tell me about the fingering
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