He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
