In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Terrible idea I love it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
