I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
