Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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