Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
