so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
