I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
