I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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