You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
