trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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