I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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