You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
