We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
