are you still at the devil's house?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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