I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
