Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
