did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
