i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
