I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
