i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
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The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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