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im drinking this country out of the recession.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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