I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You pole danced in your parka.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
