I smell stomach acid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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