White coat. Heels.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
