I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you inspire me to be a worse person
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
