Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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