yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
