Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
