Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
