Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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