He uses pillows to masturbate.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Who died my cat blue again?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
