i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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