My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
