I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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