so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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