i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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