What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize