Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
