I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can text with my tongue
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
