i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
