When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
