You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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