PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
