I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
