I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
