this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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