If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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