then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
