Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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