I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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