For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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