Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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