New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
