He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
