i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
