Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
